When will i feel happy?
I will feel happy when.............
Ans:When i get my new year's money(cause i'm rich when it's New Year)
and when i get preasents annd when im enjoying a good book or playing computer.
When im having fun in outdoor activities with my favourite cousin i call her a sister though.[still feeling happy]We used to live under the same roof once when she's p2 and im k1 we played together sing along with the tv and she taught me how to eat ice its cold but nice.I enjoyed that time i wish i can turn time around.it was fun!Thats all for now.So there.
Hey ziyin. liyana here. . i guess u have not suceed :
ReplyDelete1. having proper paragraphs.
2. u did have ure capital letters ( good ! )
3. punctuation marks.
etc: "and when i get preasents annd when im...".
u should put commas instead .
"when..... , GETTING presents ... and ENJOYING....."
4. some of ure sentences are FRAGMENTED SENTENCES . no worries cause a bit of changes could make the difference of the sentence structure.
etc: "sing along with the tv and....".-how could u sing a long with a tv(non-living thing). dont combine everything in one sentence cause the sentence may look like "never-ending".
5. grammar rules. - well there are okay. ( good !)
6. spelling - hmm im afraid not.
etc:"preasents".
overall ure story was interesting ! wow ure couz teach u how to eat ice. i bet u must have enjoyed ureself during that time .
once again, there is a room of improvement. (:
Hey ZhiYin
ReplyDeleteConcentrate on spelling.(preasents??)
Hello :)
ReplyDeleteYou missed out some of the full stops and joined some sentences together .
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteZiyin , I spotted some typing errors , shot-formed words and your punctuations. Try working on it .
ReplyDeleteNicely written , keep it up but don't make anymore errors:)
Where is your summary?
ReplyDeletek thx uhm...it;s zi yin not zhi yin
ReplyDelete